Are you ready?

You know that closet in your house that you throw all your stuff in when someone comes over unexpectedly (or when you just aren’t in the mood). Anyway, it never fails that when there is something important in there that we need to get, all the stuff we shoved away comes tumbling out as we dodge and weave to get out the way. Then we are instantly irritated and upset because we have to clean up a bunch of stuff that we weren’t prepared to deal with.

This is similar to how parenting with trauma happens. Regardless of how we build our family, when we think of becoming parents, we get our pens out and itemize all the things we need right, such as clothes, food, getting a room ready, toys and games, our financial situation, childcare options, etc. We wonder if we are ready now, how this will change our lives, evaluating relationships.. The anticipation can keep us up at night. But with all the nesting behavior that we do, we push aside what I consider the most important area of preparation, our mental health. Yes it’s that sinking feeling you just got in the pit of your stomach thinking about it. Being a parent is a huge responsibility, whether we are preparing for a baby or an older child. When we put our mental health care on the backburner and parent without addressing our own trauma, the smallest things can cause us to be triggered.

Coupled with your child struggling with their own trauma, things can blow up quickly. It can cause you to become emotionally withdrawn, parent out of guilt, or worse yet, lose your temper. It is very difficult to support your child’s need if you are not in a healthy place.

So my ask of you. Take that next step in getting ready for your parenting journey.

Start choosing your healing and happiness and reach out to a trauma informed therapist you feel comfortable talking to. Not only for you, but for your family. Yes it’s going to stretch you in ways that make you uncomfortable, but it is the best gift to yourself.

I would love to hear about your healing journey.